Te-kill-ya

Dear Tequila:

We had a deal. You were supposed to make me sexier, smarter and a better dancer. But I saw the CCTV footage. And I think we need to talk...

Love,
Ellie

Thanks giving!

This year I'd like to get through one freaking holiday without my brother-in-law acting like a fool. Traditionally he behaves the worst at Christmas but that behaviour seems to begin at Thanks Giving. This year, I just don't have the strength for Eddie the Moron.

Knowing how bad Eddie can get and how low my toelrance has become - Caine is on stand-by. There is an emergency get-the-fuck-outta-dodge plan. One sneakily sent text message and he'll call me so I can escape. I'm unsure if knowing I have an out is going to make the day any better or just make me want to send that text!

No matter how many times I tell myself I should be thankful that my father and brother will also be at Mac's parents home for dinner. (back up is always good)

I'm so thankful that I'm up at 3 a.m. writing a blog!

Yeah, that means I can't sleep.

Holidays are hard.

This is the worst so far.

Happy turkey everyone.

Be thankful for life.

When coffee alone just doesn't cut it!

It's been a weekend life of little sleep and too much work.
I disovered on Saturday morning that coffee is having little effect. (When I say coffee, I actually mean a thick black mud like substance - that smell like coffee but normal people cannot stomach... they whine about it being too strong or some such. I don't understand it myself. Possibly they're girls. My answer is usually add more sugar and get it down ya...)
I have resorted to NoDoz over the last few days with my coffee. It's not pretty. There is a good possibility that bouncing off the walls is now my new thing.
Just sitting still long enough to write this is an effort.

Sam is finding this far too amusing for his own good.

I may never sleep again - which is okay - because everytime I try that some bastard does something stupid and I get a call!

All the way from New Zealand...

Because I am just a touch nosy when it comes to what Cat Connor is up to, I set up some Google alerts.

This afternoon I found this Crime Watch pretty cool, yes?

The coolest thing is, Cat had no idea until she saw a Google alert herself.

She loves surprises... I do not.

I was thinking that maybe next week, I'd have Cat over and interview her?
Or maybe Sam or Lee can... hell we could all get in on it. :)

I'm not perfect...

Today was a prime example of my inability to deal with certain people - Caine wanted me to go check on a FNG. (If you haven't heard that particular acronym before... let me enlighten you, on second thoughts - I won't. Sorry kids. Auntie Ellie has a potty mouth and your mothers will not thank me for sharing!)

Anyway as I was saying Caine asked me to go do this for him. The FNG newbie was investigating what appeared to be theft from trucks; a few trucks had arrived at their final destinations minus half their loads.

I went to find this new agent and make sure he was okay and so forth. Sadly I came across Eddie (my very challenged ex-bro-in-law), and that's when it got ugly. Eddie has the ability to make my hand itch so bad I can barely resist slapping him upside the head.

The newbie was investigating a case that took him right into Eddie's path... he seemed relieved to see me. I had a wee chat with him and then spoke to Eddie.

It kinda went like this:

I grabbed Eddie firmly by the arm and asked, "Why have you weaseled your way into this investigation?"

"Don't be such a bitch. I work here."

I looked around and saw nothing but pellets of shrink wrapped cereal boxes.

"Doing?"

"Loading trucks."

"At least you're working. Now go away and let this nice agent do his job."

“I work here.” Spittle formed at the corners of his fat ugly mouth. “I have a right.”

“Go away Eddie,” I told him letting my tone convey a hefty warning.

“I’m working.” His face turned red. “You can’t make me! I work here.”

I took a deep breath. The agent joined me. I turned to him. “Is this man helping you with your investigation?”

“No. He’s not involved and every time I ask someone anything he inserts himself into the conversation.” He leaned closer to me. "He keeps telling me how to do my job and every few minutes he asks if I know you."

I shrugged. "I'm sorry - he's special."

"I'm not special!" Eddie said, spitting foam.

I still had hold of Eddie’s arm. With my right hand I unhooked my cuffs off my belt and slapped one bracelet around Eddie’s wrist before he could react. In his ear I hissed, “You are under arrest for hindering an FBI investigation.”

I twisted his other arm behind his back. He squealed like a pig. I snapped the other cuff on.

“You can’t do this!” He screeched. His voice his octaves I didn’t know existed as pure panic took over. “You’re abusing your power, this is wrong! You can’t do this to me!”

“Really? Looks like I already did,” I replied and marched him out the door. I paused long enough to tell the newbie that he was doing great and that Eddie was an idiot.

I didn’t take Eddie with me. I decided it’d be more fun to call the local police in to take him away. I might have implied he was on drugs and possibly drunk.

I know that was wrong… but the guy is a complete moron. Seriously, why does he keep turning up in my life?

He’s not my freaking brother.

I have a feeling Caine will not be amused by this! :)  

The more things change...

Hey!

I know, me again! Lucky you!!

Cat tells me EXACERBYTE is now back with her fabulous editor. (They may well have been her exact words.) And that's awesome.

I was looking over her shoulder today and note, (Cat's not her editors, that'd just be weird.) she's working on the 4th book. Rearranging some of the elements she wanted moved closer to the surface.
Think ya'll might like it.
But even I was creeped out by someone we come up against in FLASHBYTE.

Time for me to head out the door.

Have you seen the poems? The book is over there on your right.

Take care out there.

As you can see I've been playing!!

Hectic is the best word to describe my life at the moment - I did once try and say I lead a quiet life - this was scoffed at by everyone. I have no idea why!!

The comment and the scoffing did give me pause though. Upon reflection I can see why someone might not consider my life quiet. I actually meant in a social kinda way... not so much the "nothing ever happens in my life way".

Shall I tell you a little story? Or just point you to a little story??

Probably point, yeah?

Then I can go back to sitting in my car, drinking coffee and watching the street ahead of me for the dork who thinks he can evade us. Should start carrying a camera to snap pics of such dorks faces when the inevitable happens!

So - go here for a nice wee story.
From Christmas a few years ago.

Every beat of my heart.

The hardest part is the night

You'd think I'd be used to late nights and long nights, what with my line of work an' all.
But some nights seem longer and darker than others - so after one of those nights (last night) by 3 p.m. I'm tired, cranky and just wanna go home.

I suspect I'm a real joy to be around. :)

But let me assure you Sam and Lee aren't exactly bundles of joy this afternoon either. Lee's scowling at his computer screen. Sam is on a coffee run. Because coffee fixes everything. Pity anyone who gets in his way.

I was going to tell you a little story (no, not about a man called Jed...) but we might save that for another less pissed kinda day.

Hey kids!

Morning all,

It's early - don't mind my fumblings as I try and figure my way around the blog. Mac used to do all this for me - life's a learning curve.

Here we go - stuff you need to know.

My favourite place to visit "I See You"

Stuff that floats my boat and sheds light upon my life.

Am going to add pages and such as I get more familar with blogger and have more time.